Biker Demands Recount After $60,000 Custom Motorcycle Loses to Garage-Built Bike

Local Biker Demands Federal Investigation After $60,000 Motorcycle Fails to Win Plastic Trophy

Owner insists judges ignored chrome, custom paint and “the financial sacrifice involved”

THUNDER CREEK, USA — A local motorcycle owner is demanding a complete review of the judging process at the National American Championship World Series Bike Show after his $60,000 custom motorcycle failed to win its class.

According to witnesses, Randy “Chrome Dog” Mullins remained calm for nearly seven seconds after the winners were announced Saturday afternoon. He then removed his sunglasses, pointed toward the judging table and asked whether anyone involved had “any idea what billet aluminum costs these days.”

“I put sixty grand into that bike,” Mullins said. “Sixty thousand dollars. That should count for something. At minimum, it should count for first place.”

Mullins’ motorcycle, a heavily customized touring bike named Financial Mistake, featured chrome wheels, chrome handlebars, chrome controls, chrome floorboards and several chrome components that Mullins could not identify but confirmed were “extremely expensive.”

The bike also included an elaborate custom paint job depicting an eagle flying through flames while carrying a poker hand, a skull and what appeared to be the United States Constitution.

“It tells a story,” Mullins explained. “I’m not sure exactly what the story is, but it cost $8,500.”

Winner Reportedly Built Bike in His Own Garage

The Touring Custom class was won by competitor Earl “Two Wrenches” Jenkins, whose motorcycle was reportedly assembled in his home garage using a combination of handmade parts, fabrication work and components taken from three motorcycles that no longer legally exist.

“I didn’t think I had a chance,” Jenkins said while holding the show’s first-place trophy, valued at approximately $14. “I only spent about eleven thousand dollars, but I did spend four years building it.”

Mullins immediately questioned whether personal craftsmanship should be allowed to influence the outcome of a custom motorcycle competition.

“So now we’re rewarding people for building their own bikes?” he asked. “Where does that leave those of us who supported the economy by paying other people to do everything?”

Several participants said Mullins spent most of the afternoon explaining the retail price of each component to anyone who stood within fifteen feet of the motorcycle.

“He kept saying the wheels alone cost more than my whole bike,” said participant Debbie “Torque Mama” Benton. “I told him they were beautiful. Then he told me again.”

Promoter Defends Prestigious Championship

Show promoter Buck Wallace defended the event, describing the National American Championship World Series Bike Show as “one of the most nationally recognized motorcycle shows held in this particular county on that particular weekend.”

“We had competitors come from as far away as forty-three miles,” Wallace said. “That is why we feel comfortable using the word ‘national.’”

Wallace said entry fees were clearly disclosed and that competitors were never promised awards based on the amount of money invested.

“The judging sheet does not have a category for personal debt,” he said. “Perhaps next year we can add one.”

Wallace also denied Mullins’ allegation that the judging process was biased against professionally assembled motorcycles.

“We judge design, craftsmanship, originality, engineering, presentation and overall execution,” Wallace said. “We do not ask to see receipts.”

Judges Cite Minor Technical Concerns

The three-person judging panel said Financial Mistake was impressive but lost points for originality, visible wiring and the fact that one decorative exhaust tip fell off during inspection.

“We gave him strong scores for paint and presentation,” said head judge Linda Crowley. “But nearly every major part came from a catalog, and several of those same parts appeared on motorcycles parked in the spectator lot.”

Crowley said Mullins attempted to improve his score by producing a binder containing invoices, financing documents and a spreadsheet labeled Total Investment Including Interest.

“He wanted us to understand that the motorcycle might eventually cost him closer to eighty-two thousand dollars,” she said. “That information did not help.”

Another judge, motorcycle builder Dale “Sparks” Harris, said the winning bike demonstrated more craftsmanship.

“The winner shaped his own fuel tank, fabricated the exhaust and redesigned the rear suspension,” Harris said. “Randy ordered matching valve-stem caps.”

Mullins strongly objected to that characterization.

“Those were not ordinary valve-stem caps,” he said. “They were limited-edition.”

Fellow Competitors Offer Support, Mostly

Some participants expressed sympathy for Mullins.

“It is hard to spend that much money and walk away empty-handed,” said competitor Gary “Road Rash” Pritchard. “That is why I spent twelve thousand dollars and walked away empty-handed.”

Others suggested the controversy could have been avoided by creating additional award categories.

“There should be a trophy for Most Money Spent Without Increasing Horsepower,” said one participant. “He would have dominated.”

Another recommended awards for Best Trailer Arrival, Cleanest Undercarriage and Motorcycle Least Likely to Be Ridden in Rain.

Mullins rejected the idea that Financial Mistake was simply a showpiece, noting that he had ridden it nearly 600 miles during the past three years.

“That includes riding it on and off the trailer,” he added.

Formal Protest Under Consideration

Mullins said he plans to file a formal protest with the National Association of National Motorcycle Show Associations, an organization whose existence could not be independently confirmed.

He is requesting a recount of the scores, a review of the judges’ qualifications and reimbursement for his hotel room, fuel, entry fee, detailing supplies and emotional distress.

“This is bigger than me,” Mullins said. “This is about every biker who believed that spending enough money would eventually become a substitute for winning.”

Despite the controversy, Mullins confirmed he will return next year with additional upgrades, including a $4,000 sound system, color-changing lights and a computerized center stand.

“At this point, I’m too invested to stop,” he said. “Which is exactly what my wife keeps telling the divorce attorney.”

Satire: All names, organizations, quotes and events in this story are invented.